So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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