just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
