He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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