How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
