Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
