I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
