sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
