now i know why i became what i already was.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
