do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I don't deserve a penis
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
