Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
barbara walters just said penis...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
