I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm like, not good at living.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
