I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
