At least make sure they are 18
Why
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
