I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
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