My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
