Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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