Sponge bath it is.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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