just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
