I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
