We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
