i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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