what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
