My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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