U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
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