im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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