so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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