mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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