She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
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