Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
