Your tits are I can't wait for
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
