I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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