Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
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