so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
