STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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