I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
