you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
