He had one of those small greek statue penises
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
