I can text with my tongue
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
