Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
