I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
