I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
this is an emotional support booty call
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
