I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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