Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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