there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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