final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
