i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
it was like having sex with a tree stump
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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