I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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