Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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