HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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