I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
