he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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